at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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