I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
