singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Let's get the cat blown out
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
