I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She announced her abortion via fbk
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
