I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
