the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
