My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
