He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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