Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
