Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
