can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
