erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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