i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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