Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Buhtt sex?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You've changed since you got that strap on
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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