I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
