All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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