U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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