It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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