I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
