why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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