WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
