Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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