I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
