Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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