i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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