I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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