i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm at about main and main street
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
