Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
