you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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