Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
