I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
