about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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