We got so high we made milksteak
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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