I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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