This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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