so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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