She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
