There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
