ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
