my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
