ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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