so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it hurts more in the daytime
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
