I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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