I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
