I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
