It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
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