love makes seman taste better
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
