I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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