We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
ttyl tear gas
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
