the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
