No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
