look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
