Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
