Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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